Posted in Events, Family, Friends, Personal, Relationships

Being in the Middle = Emotional Breakdown

If there is one thing that gets me really upset, angry, and gives me a huge emotional  breakdown for possible days, it’s being in the middle of family drama, and choosing one side over the other (Or being forced to choose one side). My brothers and sisters did just that to me, and in the end, made me really emotionally upset and angry.. so upset, that I actually cried myself to sleep this morning (at about 2 something this morning).

Basically put, last night, my twin called me, telling me that she needed to talk to me, her and our brother. It was basically about Lawrence. At first, I asked her why didn’t she and Donte  (Our brother) talked to him about it, and she told me that they decided to talk to me about it first.

Okay, what would you do if you wanted to tell someone how you really feel about that person? You tell him/her straight up, right? Well that’s what I would’ve done, not tell someone else about that person.

So in my mind, that just made me mad on the inside, cause one: That’s totally unfair, and two: I took it way too personal, cause that’s my best friend, their brother! They shouldn’t have to tell me about the truth about how they feel about Lawrence (Let’s just say that he was being disrespectful towards the family, cause of a movie that had a lot of cursing, his opinion of a movie that he doesn’t like that Ari loves made her (Ari) very offended, and so on), cause from the get-go, they should’ve told him themselves, instead of telling me. That, right there, is straight up disrespectful, in my opinion. Of course I would’ve found out sooner or later, but not this way!

So after that talk, I was really upset, cause they told me that he was controlling me, and that they suggested that I should go to the other party (I got invited to two parties, and yes it is the Royal Rumble party, but I decided to go to the party in Chicago with Lawrence and the others, and Ari got upset about it), cause I’m wasting gas going to Chicago and whatnot, ect., and that really got me upset, cause they were basically telling me (Even though they suggested it, but it sounded like I being forced to go to their party) that I should go to their party, and not go to the other party, cause they want me to be there.

Well, shortly after I got off of the phone with Ari and Donte, I texted Lawrence about it, and told him what they told me. Let’s just say that he got highly upset about it, and I don’t blame him. He called me 25 minutes later, and we basically talked about it. He got really pissed off that they decided to go talk about him behind his back like that. I don’t blame him, cause I would’ve been the same way. He told me that it was really childish of them to tell me stuff about him. He basically told me that it’s not fair for me to be in the middle of this family drama, cause I’m being forced to take sides.

Like i said before, if there is one thing that I hate, it’s taking sides. It makes me even more upset, cause if I choose the wrong side (Either way it goes), not only will I end up losing friends, but I’m basically gonna be back stabbed, killed, or worse, make me regret my decision.

So basically we talked for bout a few hours, then we basically got off of the phone, and I ended up falling asleep… not before crying my eyes out, of course.

So it’s the morning time right now, and I’m not feeling my best. I still feel upset and mad that I’m caught in the middle of this drama. I mean, once we all meet up again, then I’m going just speak my mind about this whole mess, cause it’s getting out of hand.

If I have to lose a few friends, then so be it. It’s time for the entire truth to come out, and I have absolutely no problem with telling the truth to someone, and whether they like it or not, oh freakin well. The truth hurts, and it’s a part of life. Get the f**k over it and move the f**k on.



I'm just a photographer, nerd, gamer, rebel, and fashionista who speaks in 6 and sings in 11 different languages.

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