So today was a lucky, fun day for me.., but painful at first. This morning, I woke up with a bad headache. So I went to the bathroom, turn on the A/C (Cause even though it was gonna rain today, it still was gonna be humid), and turned on my phone. Soon after, I got a few text messages, 3 from Lawrence, and 1 from Erik. So after I answered those texts, I got another text from Lawrence, asking me if I wanted to come over. I didn’t take my Mum to work, cause I overslept. I also didn’t wanna stay at home all day, so of course, I decided to go to his house. Also, as soon as I got that text, I instantly woke up.. and even though I took some advil, my headache slowed down, but it was still hurting.
So I took a quick shower, got dressed, and ran out of the door. I hopped on the bus, and as soon as I got to the second bus, I was gonna pay with the bus card, but the bus driver told me to just have a seat, and that the ride was free. FREE?? YES, FREE!! He told everyone who came onboard that the ride was free. How and why, I have no idea. Once I got off of the bus, I went over to Lawrence’s house.
So we basically watched some UFC and WWE shows and old PPVs, laughing and having fun. While we were watching TV, I asked him bout some gift that he had for me that he got from ACEN a month ago. This is what he gave me:
While we were on the subject, he also showed me some old photos of us, back when we first went out together in high school/early college.
I kept on looking at those photos, and kept on thinking this: “Don’t worry Lawrence. We’re gonna be a couple again, just like back in late 2007. I’m not gonna make those mistakes ever again.. I can assure you that. We’re gonna be stronger than before once we start dating again. I promise”.
Yesterday I talked to my brothers and sister about me and Erik’s relationships, and the result of our main struggle: Lack of communication. Yes, Erik and I don’t talk on the phone, and we do text almost all of the time. We mainly don’t talk much in person, and that’s the main problem. Another problem that my brothers and sister told me about, is that he doesn’t pursue me. Also, we rarely spend time with each other… (We live bout 25 minutes from each other, and mainly since Erik’s job cut his hours lately, he doesn’t have the money for gas during the weekday, and thus money for everything else), which is true in the most case. I was really upset on the inside, cause the things that my Mum told me bout, was actually true. I didn’t wanna believe it at first, but hearing from my sis and brothers… yea, I had to believe it now. I’m gonna have a group meeting with everyone, and talk bout what’s been going on with Erik and I, and bring Erik along, cause he needs to know. If he really wants to make this relationship work, then he’s gonna need to hear the truth, and nothing but the truth.
I really hate to say this everyone, but Erik and I might have to break up if things don’t turn better for us. In the end, I’m gonna give this relationship a few months to get better.
Now, as far as Lawrence and I is concerned, we’re trying to get back together, but in order to get everything back into place, he has to get a driver’s license. I’m actually gonna help him get his license before August-September.
..Something tells me (And I heard it from a few others too) that Lawrence and I were meant to be together all this time. What have I done? Seriously, what have I done? I’m seeing everything clearly with relationships now, and I now regret every bad thing that I done with me and Lawrence’s relationship. I really need to start doing things right between me and him, like seriously. I’m really falling apart when it comes to relationships. I really need to start growing up, acting like an adult.
…I’m making a change to myself and my relationships, starting now.