I need to get away from it all. I’m so pissed off ay her (Meaning my Mum), I need to move out next year, dead serious. My Mum’s almost making me break up with Erik.. Only cause he rarely spends time with me. He has work in the morning and school at night! I have work at almost every weekend! Of couse we rarely see each other, cause our schedules are different! We live about 25 minutes from each other! I don’t have my own car, so I can’t see him often!
Now, onto the relationship situation: If this keeps up, then I might go back to my ex. Speaking of which, I was having a real deep conversation with my ex, and we do want to make this relationship work. I found out the truth about my actions and how it truly affected him and the people around me, and it hurt. It hurt so much, that it put me into a deep depression.. Almost to the point of attempting suicide. I finally realized that karma is kicking me about 100x worse. I had a better life when I was my ex. I had a good life with Erik, but now it’s just getting worse. My Mum doesn’t like him, she tells me that I can do better, and that she wishes that I stayed with my ex. If I did that, then we would’ve been married by now, but she told me that I could do better without my ex.
That was one of many reasons why I broke up with my ex and got with Erik, cause of what my Mum told me, that I could do better last time. Now she’s telling me the same thing, and it’s gonna break this current relationship. I really don’t wanna end it, but at the same time, I do want to fix this relationship between me and my ex.
I’m really torn right now. I wanna commit suicide, but I really can’t. I don’t want to, cause if I do, then I’m gonna have to go to rehab.. And I don’t wanna go to rehab. It’s very hard. I’m gonna try to keep it together. If not… Then my Mum will be the cause of our downfall.