Posted in Family, Personal

Chronic Depression

Once again, I am in depression, but this time, it’s gotten worse. Everything is getting worse for me. I have found myself being moody once again, but this time, in tears of sadness. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Oh wait, yes I do: Things aren’t going my way as planned, and to make things worse: I’m struggling to pay my debt down. Soon, I’m gonna end up not having enough money to last me for the month.

My Mum’s gonna have her final hip replacement surgery on August 1st, so I’ll at least get some time to myself again. Once again, after she goes home from the hospital, I’m gonna have to be a caretaker again, which means even more stress on me. Hopefully I don’t start thinking bout suicide. I know things are gonna get better in no time, but I’m getting impatient. VERY impatient. I wish they get better soon, cause I don’t wanna spend another holiday season at my job. I don’t want to, but it looks like I’m gonna have to. Looks like 2014 will be the year that I’m gonna get my act together. Hopefully next year I’ll finally be able to get into school, but something tells me that I won’t be able to do so. It hurts me so bad that I won’t be able to go back to school in the Fall, but if I don’t get in by Spring semester, then I’m gonna be REALLY upset and depressed. I love school, and I want to get my degree as soon as possible, but it looks like I’m gonna end up missing a semester or two.

I hope things get better for me… I don’t wanna get into another depression like now.

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I'm just a photographer, nerd, gamer, rebel, and fashionista who speaks in 6 and sings in 11 different languages.

4 thoughts on “Chronic Depression

  1. I hope you are going to graduate school when you finish this degree. I stayed depressed in undergraduate school but it lifted when all, not just some, of the coursework seemed relevant. I just wrote a post today on male and female brain differences showing that women worry more and have twice as much depression as men. You might find it interesting, especially the part about men having 52 percent more serotonin than women.
    Lorraine

  2. Hey, is there someone at your school you can talk to? It sounds like there’s a lot going on, a lot of weight on your shoulders. It’s not easy and I feel like maybe a support group could help…..xo

    1. There is.

      I do have a small support group with my friends, but I haven’t seen em since 4th of July. I’m gonna try out other ways to get rid of my depression. Hopefully I’m gonna get me a little pet to help me cope with it. xo

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