Posted in Holiday, Personal

Father’s Day Sadness

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers… and I’m not talking bout the deadbeat fathers. I’m talking bout the responsible fathers, and not to mention the single mothers who are taking responsibility of both mother and father!

As for me…, I’m not celebrating Father’s Day at all. Not cause I have a deadbeat dad (And believe me, the last time I saw him was when I was a baby. He was trying to get his education to get a better life of me, him, and my Mum), and no, not cause of a divorce. It’s cause he died when I was 6 yrs old. For a while, I have never really celebrated Father’s Day only cause of that, but only cause I kinda realized that it wasn’t much to celebrate it for. Sure I went for a Father’s Day bbq twice in the past few yrs, but I have never been this upset on Father’s Day before.

This morning, I woke up,  being so hot. Then several minutes later, I realize that today was Father’s Day. It just made me so upset, cause I’ve come to realize that not only that I don’t have a father, but also Erik doesn’t have a father as well. So I ended up crying my eyes out, til I heard my father telling me not to cry, cause everything’s gonna be okay. As I try to go back to sleep, I realize that it’s really upsetting to know that you really can’t celebrate a holiday (Such as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day) when you know that someone you love is in Heaven.

A few hrs later, I said good morning to my babe. Here’s how this convo went:

Me: Good morning prince… 😦

Erik: What’s wrong?

Me: Father’s Day… Crying face

Erik: I know your pain…

Me: My father told me to tell you hi from Heaven…

Erik: Tell him I said hi as well…

My dad says hi to you too…

Me: Tell him I said hi too…

Which was weird, cause I didn’t know Erik’s father was talking to him in Heaven this morning as well.

*Sighs* So yea, I cried for bout 5 hrs (Minus the 2 hrs of sleep), but I didn’t let my Mum see my tears. I didn’t want her to. It’s hard to not cry when there’s a day to celebrate with that special parent who’s not alive. I hope Erik can stay strong. I miss his dad as well as much as I miss my dad.

In conclusion…

Father’s Day is just another day to me. Until Erik and I become parents of our own, it’s just gonna be another day to me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go lay down and try not to cry anymore.

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I'm just a photographer, nerd, gamer, rebel, and fashionista who speaks in 6 and sings in 11 different languages.

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