Posted in Personal, Relationships, School

On the Verge of Defeat; Boston Explosions

Before I begin, I would like to say this: Pray for Boston, as there were 2 explosions at the Boston Marathon. This is horrible news!! 😦

Now then, this morning went off to a horrible start. First off, Erik didn’t even tell me that he started a new semester today, and so I woke up, (which was weird, cause my Mum usually wakes me up, or tells me to turn down my alarm clock). So after I went to the bathroom, I see my Mum still in her pajamas (So unlike her, cause she’s usually in her work clothes by now), and it really put me in disbelief, cause it was almost 6:30, and she still hasn’t got dressed!

…and she thinks that I take too long in the morning, but she’s got it all wrong… big time! *Mood: In total disbelief*

Then Erik calls me, and of course I made him suspicious of me, but I really couldn’t tell him what was really going on, not in front of my Mum.. she’ll nonstop nag at me bout it! Anyway, when I text him bout what really happened, he suddenly felt bad…, and that’s when I was on the verge of defeat!! *Mood: Tense and stressed*

While I was taking my Mum to work, she suddenly asked me when was my final day of school was. I told her, but something should’ve told me not to talk bout school in front of her before I left, cause as soon as I told her what my final day was, all heck broke loose. She started complaining bout how I should stop going to the university, because I don’t have the money to pay for tuition. Here’s a list of what she told me that made me so upset and pissed off, that it made me almost quit on everything and and drop out of college:

“I think you should stop going to that school, until you have enough money to pay for your classes!”

“Look at your cousin! He STILL has about $28,000 worth of student loan debt from a long time ago!”

“Even a full time job won’t help you pay off your debt AND still pay for your classes!”

“I bet Erik doesn’t even have student loan debt! He probably has a grant to help him pay for school!”

“You won’t even have your career started once you graduate and get down your debt!”

“That’s why you still don’t have a car or a place of your own, because you have DEBT!!!”

You see the things that she told me?! It just almost made me shut down and force me to give up on EVERYTHING.. including school.

*Mood: SUPER pissed off and SO upset, that I was on the verge of dropping out of college AND skipping a semester or two*

After I dropped her off, I talked to Erik all tears and whatnot, cause it made me feel like I should do what she says, and drop out. After our conversation, I soon to realize that she was a bad parent, and I couldn’t WAIT to get out of her house! As the day went on, I sat at Starbucks for bout 6 hrs, cause I decided to get my exam done, so I can spend time with Erik tomorrow morning before I went to school. My Mum’s mood changed as well. She was back to her old self, and that I realized that she wasn’t a bad parent, but she was trying to look out for my finances. Still, with what she said, I didn’t care anymore. *Mood: From tears of pain and self-esteem, to being back to normal, and sane, thanks to me finally get a chance to help Erik with his debt repayment plan.*

I still don’t care anymore. From now on, I’M gonna be doing MY own finances and dealing with MY financial situation (Along with my financial advisor of my choice, of course). I’ll let my Mum give me advice, but as far as dealing with my debt and finances, I’M gonna be the one dealing with it. It’s my life, and I’ll make MY own decisions. *Mood: Determined*

P.S., I’m still considering moving out in two years with Erik, either way it goes. I also added an apt bill plan for us as well. We’ll work on it tomorrow morning.

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I'm just a photographer, nerd, gamer, rebel, and fashionista who speaks in 6 and sings in 11 different languages.

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