Posted in Events, Personal

Trying Not to Break Down

These next three months are gonna break me down. I just know it.

Happy April Fool’s Day. No jokes for me today… cause I’m starting to break down… mentally and emotionally.

*Update on the situation: My friend’s doing better. I feel so sorry for her though, cause it was actually her boyfriend who got killed in that crash. At least she’s doing better..*

Anyway, the next three months are gonna break me down, starting this month. This month, I’m gonna prepare for Mother’s Day, and then for my Mum’s surgery. In two weeks, she’s gonna have physical therapy on her hip. If all else goes good, she will be back to work in bout 6-8 weeks, or less.

As for me, I’m preparing myself though. School’s almost over, so I gotta prepare for the final and to figure out how I’m gonna pay for the rest of the tuition. I’m gonna have my sisters come over for the time my Mum has her surgery, and hang out with my boyfriend on those days as well, and maybe see my Mum once the surgery is over.

As far as A Twisted Affairs movie is concerned, it’s gonna be postponed til the summer of next year, cause of everything that’s going on with my family so far. Also, I am gonna travel to downtown Chicago again next month with Erik to relive some stress and to prepare me for the road ahead.

June is approaching really fast for me. By that time, I’ll finally have my own car, and I’ll finally be able to look for my two jobs, cause I need a huge push this year! 😀

Remember in January when I said that this year isn’t gonna get better for me til maybe August? Well guess what? It’s still true, cause of the way that life’s throwing me round so much, that I’m almost on the verge of breaking down altogether! 😦

The only thing that I can do at this time is wait and be patient, but how can I be patient when everyone else is ahead of me and I’m still on the freakin bottom?!

Sorry if I sound angry, right now.. it’s actually cause I really am angry and upset at the same time. May and June, better yet, the rest of this year better give me something good, or else. –_-

I’m really am tired of watching everyone else get ahead of life, and I’m stuck going to school part time with a deadbeat job (There, I said it!) and no car of my own, living with my Mum. It makes me feel like I’m left behind. Pretty soon, my cousin(s) might get married, and I’ll be still stuck trying to get my education.

I really hate my life. I really do. –_-; It’s just no other way for me to get my life on track right now.

So for the next three months, it’s gonna be helping my Mum out, work, finding a car AND two jobs, helping friends out, trying to save money to move out, trying to get a promotion at work (Won’t be anytime soon, I suppose), and complaining bout why my life’s the way it is currently. It’s a non ending cycle for the next three months until something good comes my way.



I'm just a photographer, nerd, gamer, rebel, and fashionista who speaks in 6 and sings in 11 different languages.

2 thoughts on “Trying Not to Break Down

  1. Sounds to me like you have your hands full. But, you are making wise choices. Don’t worry about who is ahead of you at this time. Discipline and hard work have a way of leveling the playing field. Rely on friends to encourage you and keep you sane. I would love to hear how this all turns out for you. I predict good things.

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