Posted in Personal, Work

Jealously, Rage, Total Depression

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse for me…

It does.

First off, I do wanna congratulate my baby for getting employee of the year at his job. I really am proud of him, but I can’t say the same for myself. I know what everyone’s gonna say: “You’re really selfish!” for what I’m bout to say, but to make things clear ahead of time: I’ve been this way since I was a kid. It rarely happens, but when it does… let’s just say this Scorpio’s not gonna be herself for a few weeks… until someone or something good comes to take that pain away.

Anyway, when I found out he’s the employee of the year, I went into a full jealously rage. I seriously couldn’t believe that he’s employee of the year and I haven’t even been employee of the month at my job.., NOT. ONCE. As anger and depression rages through me, I started to get fully sick and tired of my job not giving me the respect that I deserve. Seriously, every since I worked at my job, I haven’t gotten one reward, ONE f**kin REWARD for all of my hard work. Almost everyone at my job, but me and a few others haven’t been employee of the month. You wanna know the worse part bout it? For the new employees that haven’t been here for less than a yr, they’ve gotten employee of the month. Yep, the part timers that haven’t been at my job for less than one month, they’ve gotten employee of the month award, and I’ve been working there for almost 4 years, and still haven’t gotten employee of the month, NOT. ONCE. I wanna know why. I wanna know why I haven’t gotten that award in the past 3 yrs that I’ve been working there. It’s not fair at all!

I know what you’re thinking: Why not complain to your boss about this?

I’ll tell you the answer, cause my twin Ari asked me the same thing: My boss is NOT gonna give me that award just cause I complained bout it. No boss is gonna give you something that you want so dear, cause you complained bout it. Even if you worked so hard and you’ve been there for bout 5-10 years, and you STILL haven’t gotten that employee of the month, or if you haven’t gotten a promotion (I would be somewhat surprised if you did stay that long and STILL haven’t gotten what you deserve if you’re a hard worker), he/she will still won’t give you what you want, until you prove to him/her that you can meet or exceed the expectations that he/she wants you to do. Even after all of that, if he/she still won’t give you that promotion or reward you with employee of the month or year, JUST ONCE…, then it’s time to say goodbye to that job and find yourself a new one.

Cause I can tell you readers and viewers right now, if you tell your boss that you quit, just cause he/she doesn’t give you what you want or deserve, 9 times out of 10, he/she will tell you that he/she will give it to you if you stay. If you decide to stay, oh boy… you just fell right into the old I’m-gonna-make-you-stay-at-this-job-without-that-promotion trick.

*Deep sigh* I can’t take it anymore. I really can’t. I feel like my life is staying down to the Devil’s lair, cause things aren’t looking towards my way, no matter how hard I try to make something work. Even though I’m a soon to be member of Tau Sigma, it’s still not enough for me to say that my life is getting better.

I’m gonna stay depressed for a while now until something comes my way. Sure, I’ll have my good days, either way…, I’ll be depressed until a miracle comes my way.

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Author:

I'm just a photographer, nerd, gamer, rebel, and fashionista who speaks in 6 and sings in 11 different languages.

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